New Environment

Sometimes some people just sorta jumpstart you into thinking for a period of time. It could be anyone and they appear at different moments of our lives. Some stay a bit longer than the rest, while others leave a large impact on the way we think. Length of influence and Quality of the impact, not necesssarily mutually exclusive.

So for these couple of days, it's vader! ha. or rather his blog. first, the paragraph on guilt and regret from his friend and now his rantings on needing a new environment.

I am actually afraid of a new environment. Ever have the feeling of fearing whether you would fit in? Whether you would be accepted? Whether you can contribute to your new settings? Some changes are inevitable, while some changes are self induced.

For example, I am going back to work soon. Once in a while, I do have this fear of whether I can remember all those things I had learnt (Hey! it had been 3yrs since i last went back!). Whether I can actually build a career out of it or maybe I should make plans for the future after the bond.

I am a man who is never comfortable with uncertainties. I would rather know what is happening around me and comfortably foresee what is going to happen. Maybe that's why I am uncomfortable with changes or trying anything new. Not the entreprenaur I would say. :P

Fearing change doesn't mean I am resistant to them. I guess my adaptability to changes are pretty good, as much as I don't like them.

I was afraid to try out sports as a kid. But my brother one day came home happily and said he was playing bball downstairs with his friends. So i went along. I was in pri 4 then. I picked it up and slow proceeded to swimming with kevin kwek, then waterpolo with julius. After that handball with kum choon.

even coaching! i long wanted to coach. but ha din dare to be buay hiao bai and offer myself. so i jumped at the chance when hon asked to me help coach the girls with him.

When I first came to hall, I was wondering if I would ever fit in, especially in a sports block (i wasn't very active in sports). But i pressed on and i never looked back since.

JCRC. Massive mentality change. We had to deal with the old traditions and the new mentality. We saw ourselves as the bridging batch, laying the foundations for the next batch of leaders. Am glad to say we adapted well, though some decisions were controversial to some. Changes claimed their first victims.

I am usually very comfortable with the friends that I have. If i had never gone into hall, I would be very close to my JC classmates. (our class are still together after all these years). We are still close, I meant we will be closer if I din marry myself to hall. =P

Forming a new social circle is never easy for me. But it is something none of us can run away from. unless we want to be a hermit. I take a long time to warm up but once I get going, ha for those who know me i can be the livewire for the group. (i always get comments like, "hey i tot u very quiet that kind last time." My IA company can vouch for that. ha! SGH i dunno if you are reading this.)

Haha. wanted to blog on the efforts needed to form a new surrounding and a new social setting. guess i digressed too much and ended up writing more on myself adapting changes. shall save it for the next time i have the inspiration to blog on it.